Category Archives: Heidi and Terynn

Launch Me Ellen! A Mother’s Plea to Ellen DeGeneres

Launch Me Ellen! A Mother’s Plea to Ellen DeGeneres

LaunchMeEllengraphic

Hey Ellen and interested visitors/potential supporters :)

What is Launch Me Ellen all about? The short version is that I need Ellen to help me LAUNCH (clever, no?) my writing career. I need to write like Ellen needs to make you laugh. I want to have a more flexible work (and by work I mean write) schedule so I can be home to care for my three wonderful daughters, ages 10, 8 and 6. I want to have flexibility (and by that I mean I want to be able to work wherever I can bring my laptop) in where I work.

My name is Terynn and I am 38 years old. My fiancee’s name is Heidi. I live in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia, Canada. Heidi lives in Wichita, Kansas, USA with her three children ages 17, 14 and 4.

Ellen, please help me launch my writing career so Heidi and I do not have to follow up on our backup plan of approaching a producer for a reality show of our life.

Having been a Girl Guide I learned to ”Be Prepared” so I have already written (of course) the theme song they could use.

Note: Sing to the tune of The Brady Bunch. If you cannot remember said tune, click the link above to listen to it on YouTube. See original lyrics below before reading the ones I wrote:

Original Brady Bunch lyrics:

Here’s a story,

of a lovely lady,

Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.

All of them had hair of gold,

Like their mother -

The youngest one in curls.

Here’s a story,

Of a man named Brady,

Who was bringing up three boys of his own,

They were four men,

Living all together,

Yet they were all, alone.

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,

And they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That this group might somehow form a family,

That’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch.

The lyrics for my reality show:

Here’s a story,

Of a lovely lady,

Who was bringing up three very lovely girls,

All of them had hair,

As did their mother,

And all of them had curls.

Here’s a story,

Of a woman named Heidi,

Who was bringing up three children of her own,

They were four people,

Living all together,

In their Kansan home.

Till the one day that these two ladies said hello,

And they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That if ever they were to live in the same country,

They would become the lesbian Brady Bunch.

Come back to read more reasons you should launch me Ellen :)

For those who have read this and who want to help me succeed in getting Ellen’s attention and writing from home so I can be with my daughters and see Heidi and her children more frequently, please read the rest of the Launch Me Ellen campaign right here on musingsofamom.net  and share what you like! Please help me get Ellen’s attention! And Ellen, if you are reading this please consider helping me out!

Twitter #launchmeellen, #writingmom
Terynn @writerbychoice1
Heidi @HeidiKansas

8 Reasons Why I Would Not Make a Good Amazing Race Partner For Heidi

8 Reasons Why I Would Not Make a Good Amazing Race Partner For Heidi
Heidi and Terynn at Peggy's Cove in Nova Scotia

Heidi and Terynn at Peggy’s Cove in Nova Scotia

Both Heidi and I love to watch the Amazing Race and when we are watching we like to discuss our strengths and weaknesses as they would pertain to the Race. We analyze each task to determine which of us would be best at which ones. Our analyses never end very well for me. Although I have many strengths in a non-Amazing Race environment, I have come to the conclusion that I probably would not make the best AmazingRace partner for Heidi and here are 8 reasons why:

1. Shyness: Most people who know me would never believe that I am actually quite shy. In fact I think I can hear my friends reacting to that statement right now. Yes, yes I can. I hear phhssssst and just got hit in the face with the saliva of disbelief. However, they are not me and as me, I assure you that it is true. Until I get to know you, I am reserved and guarded. Once I know you, or am talking to you in a small group, I come out of my shell. Way out! Most likely you will wish my shyness would resurface.

The “being the centre of attention in a large crowd anxiety” part of my shyness I have does not seem to change no matter how much I know you. This anxiety inhibits me from:

  • public speaking (I did not make speeches at either of my brothers’ weddings).
  • I do NOT dance – not even under the influence of alcohol
  • Being proposed to in public – although I am sure she thought of it, Heidi knew I would kill her if she proposed to me at a Toronto Maple Leafs’ game
  • Performing (as much as I would love to be the next up and coming movie star, thinking about performing on demand, in front of a camera when I KNOW everybody is staring at me, is frightening)

Luckily the Amazing Race does not require dancing or public speeches (the occasional interview, but since that is not “performing” I may be able to stumble through it. Plus it doesn’t affect the actual racing part anyway). It could involve being proposed to but Heidi has already done that and if she hadn’t she knows better! As for performing, I would not even notice the cameras once my adrenaline was rushing during the tasks but I would know they were there the rest of the time. Shyness alone would not be enough to stop me from competing but combined with the rest of the list it would be inhibiting.

2. Strong gag reflex – Foul smells, gross food, copious amounts of food to eat, or food that takes a long time to chew are all guaranteed to make me gag – possibly to the point of vomiting. I would be no good in food challenges. However, since Heidi only weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet (although she is surprisingly strong for being so petite) and cannot consume as much as me in one sitting, I would have to try to gag my way through these challenges.

3. Fear of heights – No way, no way, no way would I be able to do any of those insane bungee jumps, repels or any of the other crazy things they make the contestants do at no-need-for-any-human-to-be-that-high-ever heights! Luckily for us Heidi finds this type of activity thrilling. Score one for our team!

4. I FEAR flying – Anytime it is possible, Heidi flies to Canada instead of me flying to Kansas. I have flown numerous times in my life for sports and to visit Heidi and her children in Kansas but if I can avoid it, I do. Obviously flying is hard to avoid on the Amazing Race so I would do it. As long as Heidi held my hand…no matter how hard I squeezed.

5. I HATE driving – I have my license and I drive every single day but I really do not enjoy it. It makes me super nervous driving in unfamiliar places, especially when I have no idea where I am going. Unfortunately that is a major part of the Amazing Race. Heidi loves driving so it seems obvious she would be our driver – until you read the next two things on my list.

6. I CANNOT drive a standard - The major obstacle to me being the driver is that most of the cars are standards and I CANNOT drive a standard. I have a very stressful story about trying to learn to drive one that I will have to share in a later post.

7. I CANNOT read maps – I know what you are thinking, if you can’t be the driver, just learn to read a map. Believe me, I would MUCH rather learn to read a map than learn to drive a standard, but I have tried and tried and for the life of me, my brain cannot make sense of one. It doesn’t matter if I turn the map in the direction we are driving or have familiar landmarks clearly marked…maps just make NO SENSE to me whatsoever. And Heidi is good at reading maps. Score another for our team! Guess I would be learning to drive a standard.

8. I am Canadian – It says right in the Amazing Race eligibility guidelines  http://www.cbs.com/cbs_casting/amazing_race/Eligibility_Requirements.pdf that you have to be American to participate.

“Both members of each team must be United States citizens and live in the United States.”

Heidi scores another for our team. I prevent us from even being eligible to apply. Guess this should be the number one reason I would not make a good Amazing Race partner for Heidi.

Good thing I make a great life partner for Heidi :)

 

Happy Birthday Heidi!

Happy Birthday Heidi!

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Dear Heidi,
Happy Birthday to you!

Heidi is 42 years old today and I am very disappointed to not be able to be with her on her special day. An obvious disadvantage to a long distance relationship is not being together when you want to be most. But we have a very healthy relationship and despite being in different countries, we are celebrating Heidi together today! I am so glad she was born :)

One thing Heidi and I enjoy doing is reading about the personalities of our respective astrological signs. Heidi is a Capricorn and I am a Scorpio, which is said to be a very good match. And so far we would agree that is true :) In celebration of Heidi’s birthday, I searched specifically for personality traits of Capricorns born today, January 16, and this is what I found on CafeAstrology.

If You Were Born Today, January 16
You are playful yet ambitious. While security is extremely important to you, so is personal freedom and you have a very determined, self-centered streak. You are smart, a little defiant at times, and very convincing and persuasive. There is certainly a bit of an entertainer in you, even those of you who are on the shy side. While you are a real thinker and dreamer, you are also a doer. You are spiritual and always aware that life is about something much more than the mundane. Famous people born today: Ethel Merman, Laura Schlessinger, Dizzy Dean, Sade, Kate Moss, Gabrielle Reece, Aaliyah.

That is definitely Heidi!

Happy birthday baby! And since I cannot bake you a cake today, how about I post a picture of last year’s cake that I made for you :)

Heidi's 2011 birthday cake

Heidi’s 2011 birthday cake

My Name is Different, I’ll Give Her That

My Name is Different, I’ll Give Her That

At the beginning of our relationship, Heidi would not say my name. She wrote it – in letters, on Skype and in texts – but she would NEVER say it. If not for affectionate nicknames, I don’t know that she would have ever addressed me.

I have to correct myself – NEVER is a bit of an exaggeration. But I am not sure of a word that describes “basically never”, or “much, much less than always” or “much, much closer to never”. The only time Heidi said my name for the first nine months of our relationship was when she was trying to learn how to pronounce it. My name is different, I’ll give her that. However, I never had anyone struggle as much as she did trying to learn it. It took me a long time to figure out that there was a reason for it. I will explain later.

For those who don’t know, my name is Terynn. My parents made it up by combining my dad’s first name – Terry – with my mom’s maiden name – Nunn. Instead of having two Rs and two Ns, they dropped one of the Rs and voila – it’s me! The Registry of Births phoned my mom a few times at home before processing my birth certificate to make sure she was certain this is what she wanted to name her newborn baby daughter. My mom was adamant and they reluctantly processed my birth certificate. My name is not pronounced Taryn, it is pronounced TER-RIN. TER as in term and RIN (rhymes with tin). Got it?

Terynn

As Heidi shied away from trying to pronounce my name correctly,  I assured her I answer to almost any pronunciation of my name. I am 38 and have heard many variations. Here are some of them:

Joanne
Taryn
Terryanne
Terrylynn
Trin
Terlynn
Tyrone

That’s right – Tyrone! When I was only one of a few girls playing hockey in the mid-80s in a tournament, I could tell the announcer had come across my name on the roster because after the even flow of several names from his lips there was a pause. Then I heard the “t” sound and then something I have never heard before – Tyrone! I guess he did not go with Taryn, Terryanne, or Terrylynn because he was not expecting a girl to be on the roster.

Everywhere I go where people don’t know me and are forced to read my name off of a form, like in a doctor’s office, or school attendance, or hockey game sheets, I always know when they have come to my name because of that unmistakable pause and the furrowing of their brow as their brain tries to make sense of the letters they see before them. This pause is then followed by the hard sound of the “t” and then followed by their best guess at pronunciation after which their face muscles transform from tense and confused to pleased and hopeful that they pronounced it correctly.

So now back to Heidi and her struggles with the pronunciation of my name. She would ask me to pronounce it and I remember at one point she said, “Oh, so it sounds like the name Lorenne? What???? I felt I was enunciating very clearly TER-RIN (TER as in term and RIN that rhymes with tin) so I had no idea how she was getting the end sound as RYNN as in wren. That was how she was pronouncing my name – TER-WREN. I would tell her no, and slowly pronounce the ending so that the RIN rhymed with tin and then pronounce it incorrectly (RYNN as in wren) so she could hear the difference, which was more than obvious to me. And do you know what she said each and every time? She said, “They both sound the same to me.” What??? I did not understand how she could not hear the difference and she could not understand how I could not hear that they sounded the exact same. And so we were at a stand still. And so she just did not say my name.

It wasn’t until I realized something about her Kansan dialect that I finally understood how she thinks RIN (that rhymes with tin) and wren sound the same. Apparently in Kansas, or at least in Heidi’s family, the short “i” sound and short “e” sounds are interchangeable. For instance, when Heidi says she is going to the fast food restaurant Wendy’s, she most often calls it Windy’s. When it is windy outside, she most often tells me it is wendy outside. When she tells me that even though it is wendy (translation: windy) outside she is walking to Windy’s (translation Wendy’s) it takes me a minute to process what she is saying.

It took her a couple of years but I think she now sometimes hears the difference between windy and Wendy and Terynn and Terwren and she finally says my name – sometimes she calls me Terynn and sometimes she calls me Terwren. Heidi tells me it is good that I love both ways she says my name since “I can’t tell you which you’re gonna get!”

Come back soon to read the  “Heidictionary” full of Heidi enunciation, pronunciation and sayings I would never have discovered had I never met my lovely Kansan fiancée.