Yet another communicative “task” and let me explain why these are so important. Financial trouble is often quoted as the leading cause of marital breakdowns but I would say the single most important thing in any relationship, and romantic ones are no different, is communication. Without effective communication you will never have a fulfilling relationship with your partner. I have no scientific evidence to quote here but ask you to do this: think of all of the couples you know and think about their communication. Is it effective or non-existent? Now think about how close and happy those same couples are. When I do that with the couples I know, the ones who cannot communicate are unhappy and always frustrated with each other. The ones who communicate seem to respect each other and are very close and happy together. It is quite telling.
Today you are going to tell your partner about your favourite childhood memory. Try to be descriptive and explain who, what, where, when, why and how. Did you go to Disneyland, win a soccer tournament or get to spend a day lounging around in your pajamas with your mom watching tv all day? It may make you feel vulnerable but vulnerability has to occur in order to “let someone in”. The more you “let your partner in” the closer you will become.
Try to tell your partner about your favourite childhood memory in person (video chat for long distance couples) so they can see your body language too. Remember the stats! 55% of the message you convey is based on your body language. 38% is based on the <em>way</em> you say your words. <strong>Only 7%</strong> is based on the words that actually leave your mouth. So next time you roll your eyes while your partner is talking and s/he accuses you of being rude, don’t reply with the classic, “What? I didn’t say anything.” You have actually spoken volumes.