Both Heidi and I love to watch the Amazing Race and when we are watching we like to discuss our strengths and weaknesses as they would pertain to the Race. We analyze each task to determine which of us would be best at which ones. Our analyses never end very well for me. Although I have many strengths in a non-Amazing Race environment, I have come to the conclusion that I probably would not make the best AmazingRace partner for Heidi and here are 8 reasons why:
1. Shyness: Most people who know me would never believe that I am actually quite shy. In fact I think I can hear my friends reacting to that statement right now. Yes, yes I can. I hear phhssssst and just got hit in the face with the saliva of disbelief. However, they are not me and as me, I assure you that it is true. Until I get to know you, I am reserved and guarded. Once I know you, or am talking to you in a small group, I come out of my shell. Way out! Most likely you will wish my shyness would resurface.
The “being the centre of attention in a large crowd anxiety” part of my shyness I have does not seem to change no matter how much I know you. This anxiety inhibits me from:
- public speaking (I did not make speeches at either of my brothers’ weddings).
- I do NOT dance – not even under the influence of alcohol
- Being proposed to in public – although I am sure she thought of it, Heidi knew I would kill her if she proposed to me at a Toronto Maple Leafs’ game
- Performing (as much as I would love to be the next up and coming movie star, thinking about performing on demand, in front of a camera when I KNOW everybody is staring at me, is frightening)
Luckily the Amazing Race does not require dancing or public speeches (the occasional interview, but since that is not “performing” I may be able to stumble through it. Plus it doesn’t affect the actual racing part anyway). It could involve being proposed to but Heidi has already done that and if she hadn’t she knows better! As for performing, I would not even notice the cameras once my adrenaline was rushing during the tasks but I would know they were there the rest of the time. Shyness alone would not be enough to stop me from competing but combined with the rest of the list it would be inhibiting.
2. Strong gag reflex – Foul smells, gross food, copious amounts of food to eat, or food that takes a long time to chew are all guaranteed to make me gag – possibly to the point of vomiting. I would be no good in food challenges. However, since Heidi only weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet (although she is surprisingly strong for being so petite) and cannot consume as much as me in one sitting, I would have to try to gag my way through these challenges.
3. Fear of heights – No way, no way, no way would I be able to do any of those insane bungee jumps, repels or any of the other crazy things they make the contestants do at no-need-for-any-human-to-be-
4. I FEAR flying – Anytime it is possible, Heidi flies to Canada instead of me flying to Kansas. I have flown numerous times in my life for sports and to visit Heidi and her children in Kansas but if I can avoid it, I do. Obviously flying is hard to avoid on the Amazing Race so I would do it. As long as Heidi held my hand…no matter how hard I squeezed.
5. I HATE driving – I have my license and I drive every single day but I really do not enjoy it. It makes me super nervous driving in unfamiliar places, especially when I have no idea where I am going. Unfortunately that is a major part of the Amazing Race. Heidi loves driving so it seems obvious she would be our driver – until you read the next two things on my list.
6. I CANNOT drive a standard - The major obstacle to me being the driver is that most of the cars are standards and I CANNOT drive a standard. I have a very stressful story about trying to learn to drive one that I will have to share in a later post.
7. I CANNOT read maps – I know what you are thinking, if you can’t be the driver, just learn to read a map. Believe me, I would MUCH rather learn to read a map than learn to drive a standard, but I have tried and tried and for the life of me, my brain cannot make sense of one. It doesn’t matter if I turn the map in the direction we are driving or have familiar landmarks clearly marked…maps just make NO SENSE to me whatsoever. And Heidi is good at reading maps. Score another for our team! Guess I would be learning to drive a standard.
8. I am Canadian – It says right in the Amazing Race eligibility guidelines http://www.cbs.com/cbs_
“Both members of each team must be United States citizens and live in the United States.”
Heidi scores another for our team. I prevent us from even being eligible to apply. Guess this should be the number one reason I would not make a good Amazing Race partner for Heidi.
Good thing I make a great life partner for Heidi