Have you ever been so scared you could not speak? Were frozen in terror? Could feel your heart pounding out of your chest? Today’s task is to tell you partner ALL about that time. Tell them about a time you were scared absolutely silly. Tell them who, what, where, when, why. Be as descriptive about the situation and your feelings (yes, your feelings) as possible. It may make you feel vulnerable but vulnerability has to occur in order to “let someone in”. The more you “let your partner in” the closer you will become.
NOTE: Saying one time there was a snake in the tent when I was camping and I was so scared I thought I was going to die. Not good enough!
Try to share your scary moment in person (video chat for long distance couples) so they can see your body language too. Here is something useful to know about communication since it is such an important part of a relationship. 55% of the message you convey is based on your body language. 38% is based on the way you say your words. Only 7% is based on the words that actually leave your mouth. So next time you roll your eyes while your partner is talking and s/he accuses you of being rude, don’t reply with the classic, “What? I didn’t say anything.” You have actually spoken volumes.
It’s Saturday! Time to sit back, relax and watch a movie with your partner. Go to the theatre, stay at home and watch an old favourite from your collection, or take your pick on Netflix. Hold hands or cuddle up!
Long distance couples, it is possible to watch a movie together. Heidi and I do it all the time. We don’t get to hold hands or cuddle but we get to watch the same movie through video chat. Skype is our video chatting program of choice. We used to be able to “share screen” which enabled one of us to play the movie for the other one but since “share screen” is no longer free so we had to come up with another way. We both have to play the movie simultaneously which means we both have to have access to the same movie. Thank goodness for Netflix! We start the movie at the exact same time and voila, we have a movie date.
Chocolate has long been the “go to” treat when it comes to romance. And why shouldn’t it be? Chocolate melts at 97F (just below body temperature) and therefore literally melts in your mouth. Logically that means it would also melt anywhere else on your body…
Chocolate also contains two very important chemicals that can enhance the romance – tryptophan (think turkey) and phenylethylamine. Tryptophan gets a bad reputation thanks to the turkey dinner myth but believe me, finding a candy treat with tryptophan will bode well for you. Your body uses trytophan to make serotonin. Serotonin stimulates the secretion of endorphins. Endorphins make us feel good. Enough said.
Phenylethylamine stimulates (that’s what we are going for here) the brain’s “pleasure centres” and enhances our feelings of attraction, excitement and giddiness. Here’s an interesting and very relevant fact - phenylethylamine reaches peak levels during orgasm.
You can read more scientific facts about how great chocolate generally is in this article Top Ten Scientific Reasons Why Chocolate Is The World’s Most Perfect Food but you might want to save the reading for afterwards. Get out there and buy that meaningful candy treat for your partner. And by meaningful we mean meaningful for your partner, not meaningful for what it can do for you. So if chocolate means something to him/her, you have a win/win situation. If not, just remember that feeling loved and appreciated by someone produces feelings that can never be reproduced by chocolate. And the effects are much longer lasting.
NOTES: By meaningful we mean something that means something to your partner whether it be a candy treat s/he simply loves and rarely gets to have, if it is his/her favourite colour, was his/her favourite as a child, was something the two of you ate on your first date, etc.
For long distance couples, you obviously cannot buy and get the candy treat to your partner on the same day. That is fine. The important part is that you make the effort to go out and get one. What you do from there is up to you. Best thing to do is at least take a picture of what you got and send the picture to him/her. If you want to send it in the mail, then go ahead. If it will not spoil before the next time you get to see him/her, save it and let him/her enjoy it then. If not possible, get together on video chat and eat the treats together. You will not be eating the treat intended for you but maybe you will learn a little more about the treat that means so much to your partner. No matter what you decide to do with the treats after the purchase, make sure to enjoy each other regardless.
For you lucky couples who get to see each other every day, your romantic “task” of the day is to cuddle. More specifically – cuddle together while you fall asleep tonight. If that is not possible, cuddle when you can – on the couch while watching tv or simply while you are talking. According to Jacqueline Samuels, who works as a professional cuddler, cuddling, “when done with someone you trust is unlike any other feeling, and grants health and emotional benefits unique to its act. It’s more than a hug, but less than a kiss. Pretty much all of the chemicals that make us feel happy, connected, relaxed, are being elevated and the stress ones are being decreased.”
Unfortunately, those of us in long distance relationships do not get to cuddle when we would like. Fortunately technology has allowed us to stay connected every minute of every day, so today we are going to use that to our advantage. We are going to send our partner a virtual flower. You can take a picture or find one online. The catch is that when you send it to your partner you must explain why you chose that particular flower. Is it his or her favourite flower? Favourite colour? Beautiful like him or her? Remind you of a place you have been together? If you didn’t already know, each flower has a specific meaning, a “language of flowers”. For instance a red poppy means “pleasure” and a red rose means “true love”. For more flower meanings, check out this Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_flowers.
Want to post a pic of your flower on Twitter? Use #aprilshowers30
Follow me on Twitter @writerbychoice1
Follow Heidi on Twitter @KansasHeidi
Who doesn’t love finding a random love note from their partner? And what better place to ensure its discovery than by writing it on toilet paper? Today, leave your partner a toilet paper message. Keep it simple or be creatively over the top but most importantly, know your partner. If s/he would not be amused by “I love the shit out of you”, choose different words to express yourself, no matter how clever you think you are.
For local couples who may not be sharing a roll today and for long distance couples, you can still leave your partner a toilet paper message. Simply write the message you would have loved to leave your partner and take a picture of it to send to them.
Share your pictures on Twitter #aprilshowers30 Follow me on Twitter @writerbychoice1
Hand-holding has been proven to reduce stress so those of you who can, hold hands for at least five minutes today. Hand holding is an accepted form of PDA and can be done in almost any situation so there is no excuse!
For long distance couples like me and Heidi, you are going to put technology to work. Here are some very comprehensive lists of emoticons (1, 2, 3) that you can reference. Throughout the day, text your partner emoticons that show how you feel about him/her.
Remember the days when you would scribble your partner’s name all over your school binders? Remember obsessively writing your initials + his/hers encircled by a heart on any writing surface available? You were smitten and you wanted the world to know! Remember how good it felt? Bring back those feelings and be free! Be a fool in love! Both local and long distance couples can do this!
Write your partner’s name in the mud, sand, or snow or spell it out using whatever objects you can find (sticks, stones, sidewalk chalk, etc). Show it to them. Take a picture to show them if that is not possible.
My partner, Heidi, wrote my name with blue food colouring in the snow. I wrote her name with blue sidewalk chalk in my driveway.
Heidi wrote my name in the snow in blue food colouring
I wrote Heidi’s name using blue sidewalk chalk in my driveway
Share your pictures on Twitter #aprilshowers30. Follow me on Twitter @writerbychoice1