Monthly Archives: April 2013

April 16 – Trace your partner’s profile/Make your partner a picture slideshow

April 16 – Trace your partner’s profile/Make your partner a picture slideshow

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Local couples your “task” is to trace your partner’s profile slowly three times (from the top of the forehead, down the nose, over the lips and down the chin and neck, and back up, ending at the lips. Gaze into his/her eyes while you do this. After three times, kiss him/her softly on the lips. Read Karen Kreps’ post Meeting eye to eye may be seen as an invitation to romance who says, “sharing extended eye contact produces powerful mojo for a couple.”

Long distance couples, your “task” is to make your partner a slideshow to music using your favourite photos and clip art and whatever else you want to include, using some of the free and easy slideshow software. Read Elizabeth Maartens’ post 5 Free Slideshow Makers for Windows  or Brian Fisher’s Top 3 Free Slideshow Maker for Mac if you do not already have a software you prefer to use.

Twitter #aprilshowers30
Terynn on Twitter @writerbychoice1
Heidi on Twitter @HeidiKansas

April 15 – Give your partner a full body massage/ Take a weather picture

April 15 – Give your partner a full body massage/ Take a weather picture

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Local couples, your “task” today is to give each other a minimum 10 minute full body massage. That means from the top of your partner’s head to the bottom of their feet. This is your second massage task. To see your last one you can read April 8th‘s task of the day.

Long distance couples, sadly, you cannot massage your partner. Instead, go outside and enjoy the weather. Take a picture of the weather outside and send it to your partner with an explanation of what you would like to be doing with him/her given the current weather conditions.

Twitter: #aprilshowers30
Terynn on Twitter @writerbychoice1
Heidi on Twitter @HeidiKansas

April 14 – Answer these questions and share with your partner

April 14 – Answer these questions and share with your partner

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Today’s “task” requires paper, a pen and total honesty. This “task” is all about getting to know each other, and yourself, better. You may feel vulnerable but letting your partner in, is the only way to have a close, fulfilling relationship.

I found a 60 page questionnaire online at lovepanky.com. They designed it with new couples in mind, to measure your level of compatibility with each other but it is also great for couples who have been together for a long time because it asks questions you may not have discussed or may not have even thought of before. Even if you know the title of your partner’s favourite book, you may not know why s/he prefers that over all other literary masterpieces. I have answered all 60 questions and I enjoyed doing it but don’t worry, today’s task is not to answer all 60.

Here are five questions from the 60 for you and your partner to answer. Answer them without any influence from your partner. Write your answers down on a piece of paper. Then read your answers to each other and have a discussion. Answer all 60 if you would like. You have the link.

1.  What’s your philosophy in life?

2.  Do you think money can buy happiness?

3.  The world would be a better place if…

4.  In the animal kingdom, what animal would you be?

5.  What is an absolute no-no in a relationship?

April 13 – Tell your partner about your favourite childhood friend

April 13 – Tell your partner about your favourite childhood friend

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Today is another communicative “task”. Tell your partner about your favourite childhood friend, no matter who that might have been. Imaginary or real, human or not, try to be descriptive and talk about how you felt about this friend and how s/he made you feel and what fun things you did together. It may make you feel vulnerable but vulnerability has to occur in order to “let someone in”. The more you “let your partner in” the closer you will become.

Try to tell your partner about your favourite childhood friend in person (video chat for long distance couples) so they can see your body language too. Here is something useful to know about communication since it is such an important part of a relationship. 55% of the message you convey is based on your body language. 38% is based on the way you say your words. Only 7% is based on the words that actually leave your mouth. So next time you roll your eyes while your partner is talking and s/he accuses you of being rude, don’t reply with the classic, “What? I didn’t say anything.” You have actually spoken volumes.

 

 

April 12 – Share a meal together

April 12 – Share a meal together

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Tonight you and your partner should share a meal together. It will be best if the two of you can share the meal every step of the way –  preparation, consumption and clean-up. If you would rather not cook, then go to a restaurant or order-in. Add some candlelight if you are so inclined. Try not to eat in front of the television together. Try to talk and focus on each other. Enjoy each other’s company and enjoy your meal!

Long distance couples: You can still do everything that local couples do in this task, minus the physical contact ;) If  possible, set up video chat in the kitchen and prepare the same meal, in your respective locations. Eat together on video chat. You can even add candlelight :) Clean up while still on video chat. It will make the clean up more enjoyable having your partner to talk to. If neither of you feel like cooking, try to order the same meal from restaurants in your respective locations.

 

 

What If Rehtaeh Was Your Daughter?

What If Rehtaeh Was Your Daughter?

rehtaeh

The death of 17-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons is all over the news and social media outlets. Apparently her story is now receiving international attention.

For those who have not yet heard about Rehtaeh, she was fifteen years old when she was allegedly raped by four male classmates at a friend’s house. She was 17 years old when she hung herself in the bathroom of her home after struggling for 17 months to cope with her rape and the bullying that ensued.

Read more about Rehtaeh and what she went through on the Facebook page her mother set up for her. Read this very powerful post her dad wrote. Watch this video by CBC news too.

When I was reading some of the online posts about Rehtaeh, I came across a picture of a person holding a sign that said “what if it was your daughter?” And that struck something inside of me. I know exactly what I would do if it was my daughter. If it was my daughter, I would fight to the day I died for justice for her. If it was my daughter, I would fight to change rules and attitudes to spare anyone else from feeling the immense pain and shame my daughter would have felt while being raped and then ridiculed by her peers for something no one other than her attackers should be ashamed of. From feeling the pain of being abandoned by her friends and by adults who were supposed to be there to protect her. And by a society who expresses their sympathies rampantly via social media but then forgets once there is something new to “share”, “like” and “tweet”.

This case is a cruel reminder of the society we live in. One where we teach girls that what’s most important is how they look. That their value and self-worth depends on that. One where we teach boys that what’s most important about girls is how they look. That they have no value other than that. One where we teach boys that their value is measured by their societal status and power. One where no one seems to ever be accountable for their actions. One where everyone minds their own business because it is “not my child.” Rehtaeh was not my daughter but she very easily could have been. She very easily could have been yours. What would you do if she was your daughter?

You can start maiing a change by signing the online petition started by a woman in Halifax, Nova Scotia appealing Nova Scotia Justice Minister Ross Landry for an independent inquiry into the police investigation. Go to www.change.org/rehtaeh

We live in a society where we are too busy. If it doesn’t involve us directly, we cannot be bothered.

We live in a society where no one wants to “offend” anyone. We are afraid to take a stand. To speak out against something that is wrong. To change things that need to be changed. I WAS one of those people. But I have had enough. I need to change things for my daughters. I do not want them to grow up in a society where people can rape them, share pictures of it and then torture them about it to the point they do not want to live anymore. I am sorry we were not there for Rehtaeh when she needed us. There is something we can do though. Her family needs us now. Our sons and daughters need us now. I am not waiting until something happens to my daughters or anyone else’s child to take action. I am going to do everything in my power to try to prevent this from happening to any other children. How about you? What if Rehtaeh was your daughter?

April 11 – Listen to a favourite song together

April 11 – Listen to a favourite song together

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Your “task” today is to listen to a favourite song together. Perhaps you will choose the first song you ever heard together, a song that makes you laugh, sing out loud and be plain silly together, or perhaps you will choose a song in which the lyrics explain your love for each other perfectly. Whatever song you choose, make sure you enjoy it together. Sing together, dance together, kiss each other. Each time you hear the song from now on, one of the memories that will be evoked by it will be this “task”. Make sure it’s a good one!

Twitter: #aprilshowers30
Terynn on Twitter: @writerbychoice1
Heidi on Twitter: @HeidiKansas

April 10 – Write and hide a love note/Send a “love note” card

April 10 – Write and hide a love note/Send a “love note” card

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This is a “task” that can continue for as long as you choose. For local couples: Fold a piece of paper or cardstock in half. Once folded it should be about the size of a wedding seating name tag. Each of you pick a side and write “I love you” on your side. Decide who will hide it first and then hide it in a place your partner will find it such as under his/her pillow, in the cereal cupboard, hanging over the bathroom mirror, etc. Make sure to hide it so that the side with your handwriting is facing out. When your partner finds it s/he then takes it and hides it where you will find it. Continue this as long as both of you are enjoying it. When it becomes more of a chore, it is probably time to give it a rest. That doesn’t mean you can’t start it up again sometime in the future!

For long distance couples: Each of you buy or make a card for your partner. Inside the card write a short “love message” and write the date beside that message. Then mail the card to your partner. When you receive your card in the mail, write a short “love message” to your partner underneath his/her message to you and date it. Then mail the card to your partner. Continue this until the card is filled with your love messages back and forth. Once it is full, keep the card your partner originally sent to you.

 

April 9 – Hug at least ten times/Text “hug” in lieu of actual hugs

April 9 – Hug at least ten times/Text “hug” in lieu of actual hugs

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The “task” of the day is to make sure to hug your partner at least ten times today – and not all in a row either! Hugologist, Jean Smith, suggests that hugs are most effective when held for 20 seconds. Read more about hugs and how they can make your relationship stronger in the article The Benefits of Hugging.

Long distance couples, the best we can do in the hugs department is to text our partner the word “hug” or the emoticon for a hug {} each time we want to hug him/her. No texting it ten times in a row and never again for the day. Try to text your partner a hug at a time you were thinking of him/her and really felt like hugging him/her.

Twitter: #aprilshowers30
Terynn on Twitter @writerbychoice1
Heidi on Twitter @HeidiKansas

April 8 – Massage your partner from head to fingertips/Send your partner your fave pic of the two of you

April 8 – Massage your partner from head to fingertips/Send your partner your fave pic of the two of you

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Local couples get together and get ready to really enjoy each other. Your “task” for today is to massage each other for at least ten minutes each. Have your partner lay his/her head in your lap and start massaging his/her scalp, then temples, face, neck, shoulders, arms and then hands. Read the benefits of massage and some tips for making sure it is a great experience for the both of you in this article entitled Benefits of Couples Giving Each Other a Massage.

Unfortunately for us long distance couples, this is impossible today. So instead our “task” is to send your favourite picture of the two of you together and explain why it is your favourite. This will get you travelling down Memory Lane and will really get you thinking about what you were doing, what you were thinking and how you were feeling while you were creating the memories with your partner you have captured forever.

Twitter: #aprilshowers30
Terynn on Twitter @writerbychoice1
Heidi on Twitter @HeidiKansas